Listen to me. They are the worst.
a compelling argument
There are so many reasons why lima beans are the WORST.
- They taste terrible
- The texture is off
- The green won't commit
- an affront to parenting
They are easily the worst tasting bean in the history of beans. They taste nothing like butter or buttery goodness, because sometimes they are called butter beans. It is LIES!! GREEN LIES! Not only that, but they have to have this weird wrinkly texture when you cook them sometimes, and other times they appear to be too smooth to be real. Like some robot not knowing WTF a bean looks like. It's also this wishy-washy shade of green that makes graphic designers yell "Enough already! Choose a color! WHAT ARE YOU?" And lastly, it's a shoddy parenting tool when children should be eating food that actually tastes good.
peer review
I asked 'how many people have been personally victimized by lima beans?' Everybody raised their hand. The entire room, even the outliers that are normally not counted. --Not A Mean Bear
I am more than a yellow-green concoction! I have a name and number! --2017 Pantone Color of the Year
All my homies hate lima beans --Anonymouse
They are my root. They are the reason why I was sent away to camp and delayed my coming out by about 3 months. --Not the Plot of But I'm A Cheerleader
My children refuse to eat anything green because of my over-reliance on lima beans. --A Parent
Please leave me alone, I'm trying to shop in this Trader Joe's in peace. --Mystery Shopper
literally consume any other bean
There are so many options:
- coffee bean
- lentils
- navy beans (but do not join them)
- red bean
- cocoa beans (ethically sourced)
- black-eyed peas
- chickpeas
- soybeans (be sure to milk them)
- loooooooooooong bean
- kidney bean
- actually-green beans
Beware: lima beans could be mistaken for edamame and other green legumes unless you are vigilant. Do not be fooled!
conclusion
Lima beans suck. If I come across a lima bean I flick it off my plate and demand satisfaction. And you should do the same, because frankly you deserve better for yourself.